The thoughts and musings of a girl named Moo

Even after the first decent night of sleep, and waking up at a decent time, making myself a decent breakfast, I still manage to have an angry breakdown. First, I lose my phone and have to run up and down the stairs to call it from the house phone. This doesn’t work. I still can’t find it even though I can hear it buzzing. It doesn’t ring long enough for me to keep searching. The weird part is that I feel it strongly in a spot on the floor but there is nothing there. I search under my desk and bed but I still can’t find it. so I grab the cordless from my parents’ room. I dial the numbers but nothing happens. There is no ‘call’ button or ‘accept’ button. There is only a button that says ‘phone.’ I try pressing it before calling my number. Nothing happens. I try pressing it after. Nothing happens. I try numerous different combinations. Nothing. There is a ‘select’ button, but it just brings up some name and number I don’t recognize. It starts to tell me ‘low battery’ so I get angry and throw it a couple of times and then rip open the battery compartment and throw it a few more times. Then I go back to using the house phone with the cord downstairs. Finally I locate it. Not only is it on the spot that I felt it mostly strongly, but it’s under my boot (which were not on my feet). I had had it sitting with my at my desk while I was on the computer. I never felt it fall, I never consciously moved my boots. It was so perfectly placed under my boots, face down so I couldn’t see it light up and no edges were sticking out. It makes no sense how it would have gotten there.

So then I go and try to find clothes. I have work tonight so I figure I will have to wear work clothes. But I wore my white crops yesterday at wok and I want to wear jeans, because honestly, I don’t even like how the crops look on me. But we have to wear clothes from work that look like something we have. Boot cut jeans would be stupid in this heat. I have two ankle jeans, but I cannot find either of them. In fact, the pair that fits me better I have not seen in a long time. I figure they must have gotten in with my parents’ laundry. They have two full laundry baskets- one in their room and one by the machines. Neither of them have my jeans. I check the washing machine and find one pair, but it’s the uncomfortable pair that I have worn recently. I still can’t find the good pair. I start to freak out about how frustrating it is to not be able to find any of my clothes after they’ve been washed. Then I get angry that my job even requires me to wear their stupid clothes. I don’t even continue wearing the clothes I bought from thee after I can’t wear them to work anymore when they go out of season. It’s such a waste of money. A lot of their clothes are cheap, shrink, and don’t fit right. They are all overpriced. I got a job so I could earn money for myself to use to buy things that I want. More importantly, to save up for things and to help pay off my loans. I can’t be spending $200-$300 every time they get a new group in the store just to fit in. I don’t even make $200 a week. It makes no sense to have a job that costs that much money to work there, especially when most jobs give you one uniform that you have to pay for, but that’s the only one. Where I work, we get new stuff in every single month. If I actually bought a new outfit every time we did, I’d be spending more than my paycheck. I thought it would be worth it because the clothes are supposed to be high quality and I figured I could wear them for a while. But they shrink. I’ve had buttons fall off of things. Snags. And most importantly, they’re not usually clothes that I would buy of my own volition. So what’s the point?

Ugh. So frustrating. At least I’m going to stop working there after summer. I can find a job working with books. That’s something I wouldn’t mind spending money on.